Love and Deception: Exploring the Lived Experience of Deceptive Men in Romantic Relationships
Keywords:
love, deception, men, deceiver, interpretative phenomenological analysisAbstract
A romantic bond that is formed through reliance on deception constitutes a lust-driven and tension-inducing craving that, in addition to harming the victim, can also entrap the deceiver in severe and enduring suffering—ambiguous forms of suffering whose clarification has thus far been largely neglected in the literature. The objective of the present study was to explore the lived experience of deceptive men in unstable and deception-laden romantic relationships. The present study employed a qualitative design based on interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA). Using purposive sampling, the researcher selected and interviewed 18 individuals who had current or previous experiences of emotional deception. All interviews were audio-recorded, transcribed verbatim, and ultimately analyzed using the interpretative phenomenological analysis method proposed by Smith et al. (2009). Exploration of the participants’ lived experiences led to the identification of four superordinate themes: the death of secure beliefs and the consolidation of their contradictions; love as a fabricated lust with fourfold masks; soothing cognitive–moral justifications; and a hell called: the inability to love. Examination of the lived experiences of emotional deceivers revealed that emotional deception and engagement in false romantic relationships, apart from transient pleasures, leave profound and lasting suffering in these individuals. This destructive suffering gradually renders this group pessimistic toward themselves, others, human relationships, and life as a whole, making the re-experience of peace in their personal, relational, and social worlds difficult and, in some cases, virtually impossible.
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